Confidence in God

June 12-14, 1987
Men’s Retreat - Valley Vista Community Church

In 1987, Dallas had the unique blessing of leading both the men’s retreat and the women’s retreat for Valley Vista Community Church, his home church. Both retreats were small and intimate, and it often seems like we’re listening in as a father or older brother talks with his family. This is very practical advice on living as a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven, including working on our plans for how we follow Christ with all the spiritual and the practical aspects of our lives.

The theme of the men's retreat was "Confidence in God" and it included the following sessions:

  1. Confidence in God
  2. Confidence in God in our Work
  3. Discussion: Confidence in God in Work
  4. Confidence in Love
  5. Discussion: Confidence in Love
  6. Confidence with Children
  7. Discussion: Confidence with Children

Resources

1: Confidence in God

Dallas explores confidence in God, showing confidence and faith to be intrinsically linked. He guides us through the Apostle Paul's transition from self-reliance to an unwavering trust in God. This talk promises to reshape our perspective on spiritual confidence, urging us towards a life deeply anchored in the unseen reality of God's enduring presence and power.

2: Confidence in God in Work

Dallas invites us to rediscover our identity as citizens of heaven, challenging us to rethink our approach to work. He unveils how desiring the kingdom of God above all else ignites a powerful change within us, leading to a life where every action is an act of worship. 

3: Discussion: Confidence in God in Work

This Q & A session challenges us to rethink our approach to work, family, and service, inviting us to envision our roles in the world as co-creators with God, laying up treasures in heaven through acts of goodness on Earth. Whether you're washing cars, crafting policies, or nurturing relationships, discover how every aspect of life can be lived in devotion to God.

4: Confidence in God in Love

Dallas discusses common pitfalls in relationships between the sexes, stressing the importance of metaphysical realities and scriptural wisdom to understand the true meaning of love. He addresses trust, commitment, and the sanctity of marriage. Dallas explores the significance of common work, shared experiences, and spiritual growth in building confidence in love. Fulfilling relationships should be grounded in mutual respect, understanding, and a deep connection with God's purpose for love and companionship.

5: Discussion: Confidence in Love

Dallas delves into the misconceptions surrounding the will of God in our personal lives, emphasizing that not all decisions are dictated by a singular divine command, including the choosing of a life partner. This conversation traverses the complexities of marital roles, submission, and the essence of true companionship grounded in mutual respect and understanding. His discusses adultery, the real dangers of heart infidelity, and the paramount importance of nurturing a spiritually and emotionally fulfilling marriage. 

6: Confidence in God with Children

Dallas discusses the significance of children obeying and honoring their parents, and the reciprocal responsibility of parents to foster an environment of love, guidance, and nurturing admonition in the Lord. He addresses the divine care for children, highlighting their special place before God and the importance of their humble, trusting nature. He highlights the challenges of parenting, advocating for a balance of discipline and freedom that respects the child's individuality and promotes a deep-seated honor and gratitude towards parents. 

7: Discussion: Confidence with Children

Dallas sheds light on the delicate balance of guiding children towards independence while ensuring they understand the boundaries set by love and reason. He advocates for a more thoughtful approach to parenting that values the child's interests and freedoms, tempered by the wisdom and oversight of caring adults. Dallas's perspective is not just theoretical but deeply practical, addressing real-world concerns such as the impact of societal dangers on childhood freedoms and the essential role of trust and dignity in the parent-child relationship. This talk is an essential resource for anyone involved in counseling, parenting, or who holds a vested interest in fostering an environment where children can grow with confidence and dignity.

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Confidence in God

Highlights:

  • Deepening Faith Beyond Motivation: Faith is strengthened not by surface-level motivation but by digging deeper into belief. True growth requires space for meaningful interaction and honest questioning.
  • Concept of Confidence: Confidence is presented as a key lens for understanding faith. Scripture underscores its central place in the life of trust and discipleship.
  • Confidence in God as Foundational: Confidence in God forms the foundation of spiritual growth. Paul’s journey from self-confidence to God-confidence in 2 Corinthians illustrates how true trust emerges from recognizing one’s place in relation to God’s Kingdom.
  • Nature of Heaven: Heaven is described not as a distant physical place but as a spiritual realm intersecting with our world. This reframing presents heaven as an immediate reality shaping daily life.
  • Role of Angels and Spiritual Beings: Angels are affirmed as ministering spirits who actively participate in God’s work with believers. Their presence underscores the tangible reality of the spiritual realm.
  • Human Initiative in God’s Kingdom: While God’s sovereignty prevails, human initiative plays a vital role. Recognizing and seizing one’s place and worth as part of God’s creation reflects participation in the Kingdom.
  • The Spiritual Reality of Confidence: Biblical examples such as Elijah and Elisha show that confidence rooted in awareness of the spiritual realm fosters deep trust in God’s power and provision.
  • Journey of Seeking and Growing: The path of discipleship involves ongoing seeking, learning, and growing. Each believer’s journey of faith is marked by challenges but leads to confident life in the reality of God’s Kingdom.

Confidence in God in Work

Highlights:

  • Desiring the Kingdom of God: Genuine desire for the Kingdom is foundational to discipleship. Without that desire, the pursuit of the Kingdom loses meaning.
  • Citizenship in Heaven and Eccentric Living: Identity as citizens of heaven shifts focus from earthly concerns to heavenly realities. This new center may appear eccentric to the world but transforms how life and relationships are understood.
  • Necessity of Planning in Spiritual Life: Lack of planning reflects lack of confidence. Planning is tied closely to prayer, and without clear goals, prayer life itself suffers.
  • Redefining Work Beyond Jobs: All legitimate work is spiritual when done in service to God. The false divide between “spiritual” and “non-spiritual” work is replaced by a holistic view where every task can serve the Kingdom.
  • Creating Enduring Value: Work is defined as the effort to create enduring value, in contrast to play or inactivity. Each person is urged to consider what lasting value they are called to bring into the world.
  • Investment and Stewardship of Resources: Stewardship of money and resources is a vital expression of heavenly citizenship. Wise investment and management extend influence and align with God’s will, contributing to enduring value.
  • Integration of Faith and Daily Life: Faith is meant to permeate every aspect of life—professional work, personal goals, and daily routines. The secular-sacred divide is dismantled in favor of an integrated life under God’s reign.
  • Call to Redeem Time and Embrace Rest: Sabbath rest is highlighted as essential to God’s design. By planning wisely, resisting cycles of busyness, and embracing true rest, believers align with God’s intentions and live more effectively in Kingdom peace.

Discussion: Confidence in God in Work

Highlights:

  • Value of Work in God’s Eyes: All work, regardless of type or social status, carries the potential to create enduring value when offered to the glory of God.
  • Enduring Values Beyond Work: Enduring value extends beyond professional labor to include spiritual and personal achievements—nurturing relationships, creating a welcoming home, stewarding finances wisely, and pursuing knowledge and health.
  • Responsibility of Teachers and Religious Leaders: Teaching is highlighted as a vital yet often devalued vocation. Educators and spiritual leaders bear responsibility to model and instruct in creating enduring values, guiding others in discerning good from evil.
  • Integrating Job and Work with Faith: A distinction is drawn between “job” and “work.” Work encompasses one’s entire contribution to God’s Kingdom, far surpassing the boundaries of occupation.
  • Personal and Financial Planning as an Aspect of Faith: Planning for life’s stages, including financial stewardship, is framed as an act of faith. Such planning prioritizes truth, goodness, and beauty, supporting family while also contributing to God’s Kingdom.
  • Laying Up Treasures in Heaven Through Earthly Work: True treasures in heaven are accumulated through acts of goodness. Even mundane tasks, when done in service to others, hold eternal significance.
  • Confidence in Prayer and Planning: Success in prayer fosters confidence, empowering believers to create godly plans and act decisively toward both spiritual and worldly goals.
  • Balancing Family, Work, and Ministry: Family is vital but not the sole definition of one’s purpose. A holistic life integrates family, work, and ministry so that each enriches the other in harmony.

Confidence in God in Love

Highlights:

  • Foundation of Love in Common Work Under God: Confidence in love, especially within marriage, is rooted in shared work under God. Pursuing common goals and purposes deepens bonds and creates a profound union beyond surface-level attraction.
  • Significance of “One Flesh”: The biblical idea of “one flesh” extends beyond sexual union to include shared life, work, and spiritual growth. Unity is formed as two lives and powers join in common activity, reflecting God’s design for marriage.
  • Role of Metaphysics and Reality in Relationships: Relationships rest on metaphysical realities of God’s design, including the complementarity of men and women. Recognizing this foundation clarifies the purpose and nature of union.
  • Challenges in Love and the Importance of Singleness: Singleness is acknowledged as a gift, not a deficiency. Those who are single are encouraged to embrace it with purpose, finding fulfillment in God outside of marriage.
  • Trust, Appreciation, and Common Experiences as Building Blocks: Trust and appreciation, forged through common experiences, are vital to lasting love. These shared elements nurture unity and provide fertile ground for relationships to thrive.
  • Challenge of Sexual Fulfillment within Marriage: Sexual fulfillment is affirmed as part of a committed, loving relationship. Modern distortions of love and sexuality are critiqued, with a call to restore an integrated, holistic understanding.
  • Healing and Forgiveness in Marriage: Hurts within marriage are inevitable, but healing and forgiveness can strengthen bonds. Overcoming difficulties leads to deeper resilience and a more enduring love.
  • Spiritual Growth and the “One Flesh” Unity: Shared spiritual growth reinforces the unity of “one flesh.” Spiritual practices and God’s grace cultivate a bond that is emotional, physical, and deeply spiritual.

Discussion: Confidence in Love

Highlights:

  • Challenging the Soul Mate Concept: The notion of a single, divinely appointed soulmate is rejected. Relationships are seen as partnerships built through mutual effort, growth, and commitment.
  • Critique of the “One Perfect Person” Teaching: The idea that there is only one perfect partner for each person is called a misunderstanding of God’s will. Love and marriage are understood instead as contexts for growth and faithfulness.
  • Mutual Submission in Marriage: Marriage is grounded in mutual submission, not one-sided authority. Biblical teaching points to love and respect flowing both ways between partners.
  • Understanding Adultery and Sexual Misconduct: Adultery and sexual misconduct are examined at the level of inward intention and desire. Sin begins in the heart, where distorted motives draw people away from the sanctity of marriage.
  • Divorce and the Church’s Response: Divorce is not an unforgivable sin. A compassionate church response emphasizes forgiveness, healing, and the possibility of recovery.
  • Church’s Role in Marital Issues: Churches are called to engage openly with marital struggles rather than avoiding them. Support, honesty, and guidance help couples find restoration.
  • Economic Considerations in Marriage Decisions: Economic realities are highlighted as significant factors in marriage and divorce. Rather than being dismissed, these considerations are part of the practical wisdom needed for marital decisions.
  • A Compassionate View on Relationship Complexities: Human relationships are complex, marked by both challenge and grace. With biblical wisdom and empathy, marriage is framed as a journey of love, commitment, and divine guidance.

Confidence in God with Children

Highlights:

  • Embracing the Spiritual Foundation of Family: Family relationships are grounded in the spiritual principles of Ephesians. Love and unity between husband and wife under God’s Kingdom set the stage for a flourishing household.
  • Power of Love in Answering Prayers: Love within the family carries extraordinary power. Living wisely under God invites answered prayers and grace, shaping family dynamics through spiritual alignment.
  • Children and Parents: A Biblical Perspective: The biblical call for children to obey and honor parents is framed within the context of harmony and spiritual development. Such obedience fosters growth in faith and stability within the family.
  • Special Place of Children Before God: Children hold unique value in God’s eyes. Parents are urged to recognize and nurture this divine significance.
  • Role of Discipline and Freedom in Parenting: Parenting balances discipline with freedom, guiding children in the Lord while allowing individuality to flourish.
  • Avoiding Wrath and Fostering Respect: Parents are cautioned against provoking children to wrath. Respect, understanding, and mutual honor build a healthy family environment.
  • Instilling Honor and Gratitude: Children are to be raised with a spirit of honor and gratitude toward their parents. These values secure belonging in both family and community.
  • Confidence in Children Through Divine Trust: Parents are encouraged to place lasting confidence in their children, grounded in trust of God’s guidance. Such faith supports growth toward spiritual and personal maturity.

Discussion: Confidence with Children

Highlights:

  • Empowering Children: Parents are encouraged to presume in favor of a child’s choices, allowing exploration of interests unless there is a compelling reason to intervene.
  • Reason Over Restriction: Communication is key—explaining the reasons behind parental decisions builds trust and avoids the pitfalls of blind restriction.
  • Navigating Modern Dangers: Parenting in a world of heightened dangers requires judicious oversight and prayerful reliance on God’s protection.
  • Dignity in Work: Instilling dignity and adaptability in work is essential for children. How adults handle job loss profoundly shapes a child’s view of work and self-worth.
  • Gratitude and Honor: Gratitude for parents extends beyond their actions to appreciation for their very existence. True honor reflects this deeper recognition.
  • Sibling Rivalry and Fairness: Rivalries are best addressed not by strict equality but by ensuring sufficiency and honoring each child’s individuality.
  • Role of Sunday School: The purpose of Sunday School is reconsidered—whether as genuine education or mere containment—and evaluated in light of its true effectiveness.
  • Fostering Love for Church: Children are to be included meaningfully in church life. Experiencing worship as something shared, not reserved for adults, fosters lasting love for the church.